I’ve noticed a very troubling theme popping up in the news streams and subject matter of a lot of opinion and modern event pieces that are tailored towards young people. This is an issue that I’m sure, once the words fly from the tips of my fingers and onto this screen, I’m going to cringe even allowing it to happen.

 

That trend is: being white, male, well taken care of, or any combination of those things  is to be shunned, looked down on, and twisted into some sort of wicked force that is holding the rest of the world down.

 

Yep. I said it. I’m not talking about a few fringe people posting crazy things on their blogs. I’m talking about news, videos, organizations etc, all slamming people for their race and sex and upbringing as if it is all their fault for so many problems and also as if their opinions and thoughts are not as valid as anyone else simply because of those things.

 

I am a mother raising young men. My home is of mixed race and anyone who has seen pictures of my children can tell you, they look like a wonderful little rainbow.

 

My oldest son is very fair with dark blonde hair and hazel eyes. My second child has tanner skin and dark hair. My third child is pale with dark eyes and curly black hair. My youngest is also fair with hazel eyes and light brown hair.

 

It makes me seething with anger that just looking at my children would make someone say to themselves “Oh their opinions and thoughts don’t matter as much, they have privilege.”

 

Bull crap.

 

I hate the notion of privilege and the fact that “oh if you have it, you don’t understand anyone else, you can’t possibly know what your talking about and even if you are stating facts, it’s bad”…and of course, if you’re a male while saying almost anything, it’s “mansplaining” (god I hate that “word” so much) and you should just be quiet and listen without any thoughts of your own. It’s gross.

 

Don’t come to me talking about patriarchy and equal rights or the plight of those who are of “color”. That’s a blog post all on it’s own and I don’t want to talk about it right now, but best believe I will later.

 

What I’m talking about right now is that each and every one of my sons, whether they “pass” for white and the “white privilege” that comes along with it or not, they will be thought to be potential rapists who need to be told not to rape.

 

What I’m talking about right now is that my sons could have a very valid and thoughtful opinion and be spit on and yelled at simply for being male.

 

What I’m talking about right now is this thought that men are oppressing women every single time they dare act in a position of power or otherwise and they are all bad for even wanting to succeed ahead of a woman.

 

It takes such nerve to have this kind of line drawn in the sand mentality that it makes me sick.

 

I will instill in my sons pride and the knowledge that they can do anything they want if they have the drive, just like I would any daughter of mine. I was raised in a very traditional home but I never felt hindered or stifled in the height my goals could reach. Were things handed to me on a silver platter? No! But if I wanted them, I knew I had to work for them and that is what I did, repeatedly, because I knew who I was and I didn’t need to feel intimidated by a man or feel like things were unfair unless I allowed them to be that way. That is something I never did.

 

So for my boys, I want that same drive and I will teach them what I think they need to keep themselves on whatever path they choose in life.

 

What else will I teach my sons?

 

I WILL teach my sons how to respect women.

 

I WILL teach my sons right and wrong.

 

I WILL  expect them to be thoughtful, intelligent young men.

 

But will I just nod my head and say “you’re right” to anyone who says that all men are misogynists and that they all want to lord over women and they the are all just terrible people who sit with their legs too wide and talk too loud and think they know everything because of the genitals they were born with?

 

NO I WON’T.

 

I find it gross and distasteful.

 

Are there awful people in this world who do awful things.

 

Yes.

 

Are there generalities because of some overbearing social experience. In a lot of cases yes.

 

Are there cases where women might rightfully have a reason to say they are being discriminated against? Sure!

 

But I don’t think rape is something you can generalize. I don’t think disrespect and mistreatment of women is something you can just pin on every single man “with exceptions”. I don’t think that all men are enraged when a woman is rising to power and wants to drag her down.

 

No, I think it’s the exact opposite.

 

Maybe that’s just me. I’ve surrounded myself with too many good men so I don’t believe they are all bad.

 

Have I been hurt and experienced injustice and terrible cruel things at the hands of men? YES… but do I then let it fester into some boiling hatred that I tint my entire world view on? No.

 

Do I hate men in power and think they have an agenda to keep women down? No.

 

I have also surrounded myself with some amazing strong powerful women that exceeded every single stereo type of what a woman is “allowed to do” and shown me that no, there is nothing that I can’t do. If it’s more work and trial, why does that automatically make it bad? Why does applying yourself and really showcasing how amazing you are a bad thing? Why do people want things handed to them simply because of what they are packing in their pants?

 

It’s ridiculous.

 

I’m a proud mother of sons. I will not have them ashamed of who they are, cowed into a corner trying to appease an angry massive blitz of people who want to shun them. I don’t want them to be ashamed of their skin color or how they grew up.

Life’s blessings are something I say thank you for every single day. My children are receiving things I am very grateful to be able to provide for them.

 

 

But does that mean we don’t care about anyone else because they may not have the same type of life? No! Should they be ashamed? No! Should they have to give things up to equalize the entire world into one level playing field? Nope!

 

Great people have risen from all sorts of circumstances, whether they started at the very bottom or the very top, they have made it. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but to say that my children should feel bad because of something they don’t have any control over, is just ridiculous and I refuse.

 

I want them to stand tall.

 

If they want to explain something because they are excited to impart their knowledge, I hope they do it no matter what stupid new word someone wants to label them with. If they want to be the man of their house, they will find a woman who agrees with that view point and they do not have to change their dreams and goals because it doesn’t fit the narrative of the “progressive world”. Heck, if they want to stay home and raise children and they have a woman who would rather put in all the myriad of hours it takes to raise a family, then so be it, as long as that is what they and their partner want. If they want to give up everything and go live in an impoverished country to give their time and energy to those in need, then they can do that too. If they want to strive to run a business and make millions of dollars, then I hope they do just that.

 

All I’m saying is that I’m sick and tired of this line of thought being touted as the “right” way and the “only way” you can think if you are on the cutting edge of what is right in the world.

 

News Flash: Not everyone who doesn’t agree with you is wrong.

Not everyone who doesn’t believe the way you do are bad.

Not everyone has to be the same in order to be good people.

Cut it out.

 

(This topic isn’t over *Edit: Including that I want my sons to be very proud of every aspect of their heritage, the black part, the latin part AND THE WHITE PART… but I have a four year old who REALLY wants me to sit with him so he can go to sleep. He must think he runs everything because he’s a boy and I’m a girl… just kidding. He’s four… he does run the world.)

I sat for a while today pondering which issue I would state my unasked for opinion on, and I decided to start out with an easy one:

Violent Riots.

They are, quite simply, uncalled for madness and should be disavowed and criticized by everyone on both sides.

I am fully aware that at a lot of these marches and protests lately, the violence is not necessarily incited and empowered by either side, per say, but by a particular group that thrives on the anarchy and chaos and rely on it to feed some weird desire to watch the establishment fall.

 

Not only does it detract from whatever message the main body might be trying to convey but it pollutes the view of whatever side might be trying to represent and makes their message void and lost in a cloud of literal smoke, flames, and destruction.

Now there have been some events that have been peaceful, and for that, I applaud. Others? Not so much.

On the other side, if there is violence perpetrated by those who are trying to be heard, they are disgusting. Destroying the property of others is the most ridiculous excuse for trying to make a point I have ever heard. Hurting your common fellow citizens who may work or live there in the name of destruction is gross and they should be ashamed.

Granted, I haven’t done much foot work to bring examples to this rant and the reason is that I am just tired right now. I don’t want to! Since this my blog, it’s perfectly allowed. Ha ha!

 

Also, I am perfectly aware that the media likes to highlight the worst parts of these things because it brings in those ratings… but honestly, it doesn’t matter. If the majority is peaceful and getting a purposeful message across, then those little squeaky wheels will get drowned out by the roar of silence. I haven’t seen that happen yet. It’s sad really, but maybe people should consider different ways to make a stand instead of setting the table for the looters and idiots.

 

Anyway, this is short and sweet.

Riots and looting and destruction is gross. 

Cut it out!

*Disclaimer:

If you think this is about you, it probably is. But don’t think I’m judging your or actually really mad at you. I just want it to be known that just because I, and others, aren’t the Facebook warrior type, it doesn’t mean we are silent or that we don’t care. <3 you!

 

I keep seeing posts on my Facebook from numerous people, basically calling out people like me, who are not posting political things, who don’t want to see political things, and who are not getting into long drawn out discussions about political things.

Because we are not doing this, we must not care, we must be oblivious, we must be hiding our heads under the sand or ignoring things and being terrible people who want to sit inside of our castles of privilege and not pay attention to anything but ourselves.

I just wanted to write that, at least in my case,  YOU ARE WRONG. I don’t want to do that on Facebook. It’s not the place for it in my life. It is like being physically slapped every time someone says something like that and I have to hold back my thoughts because I simply just DO NOT want to talk about it on stupid FACEBOOK.

Where else would I talk about things like this with people that I care about?

Good question.

I dunno. Most people on that site are not people I interact with anywhere else, and I suppose that is why they use that place so vehemently, because they know they can reach people who otherwise wouldn’t see it. I get that, sure go ahead. I suppose if I really felt the need to talk to someone I could private message them and talk there, but I haven’t felt the need to do that and therefore, I have not.

The point of my little rant is that I have opinions and thoughts and cares and beliefs about a lot of things…

I just don’t want to talk about it on that site.

As I get more information and more comfortable, I’ll post more of my opinions here. Nobody has interacted with me here, and that’s fine. It probably means they don’t give two craps about my opinions and that is most certainly fine as well.

 

But for me… Facebook is just isn’t a soap box (Please see this post for more detail on what I want Facebook to be in my life), and while I don’t deny others the right to talk about it all they want (and that’s why I choose not to comment and to just move on)… It doesn’t mean I don’t care because I’m not talking about it on Facebook. Seriously… stop that. You’re hurting more than just my feelings.

 

It’s like saying if you don’t eat at this restaurant for dinner, then you don’t really like food. Excuse me? I love food. I just don’t eat there for dinner.

 

Clear enough?

 

I love my Facebook peeps, they are generally some of the most amazing people I know. I just don’t always agree with them and that is just okie dokie artichokie.

 

Meanwhile, in order to keep my sanity I have started to post a cute picture of a baby animal for every post that makes me want to punch a wall. It’s quite therapeutic. I am even more glad to know that it has been helping other people to smile, so I’ll keep doing it.

 

Use Facebook for whatever you want, just don’t categorize Facebook activism as the only way a person can show that they care.

 

Thanks 🙂

Well, it’s about time I do a little rant on why I am not liking Facebook very much these days.

I get it, people use that space as a way to communicate their ideas and passionate causes. I’m guilty of that, even as early as yesterday. I get it, I do.

 

But I realize that is not the way I want a place like Facebook to resonate in my life. I like it to be a place to say “Hi” to my friends and their families, sorta like a fun community center or a coffee shop. It’s shallow, yes, and quite rose tinted… but that is my desire for a site like Facebook to be.

 

I peruse news websites all over the internet very day. I like to keep informed so that I know what is going on. If I feel strongly about something, I will pursue avenues to state my opinion, make my voice heard, and do whatever else I think needs to be done.

 

Facebook feels like a war zone. It is not welcoming and fun. It’s like walking into a room full of needles with a shower of rubbing alcohol at the exit.

I don’t enjoy it.

I’m hiding posts, unfollowing people, frowning, sighing, face palming, screaming, typing and deleting, pressing x and walking away.

 

That is not fun.

 

That is not a comforting reprieve from the onslaught of madness that is life and looking at world events in general.

 

Facebook USED TO provide that for me. I have people I truly love and adore on that site. They have great families and awesome experiences and I love sharing that with them. Now it’s not so much. People I used to really look forward to catching up with every day are now avoided like the plague. I find myself disliking really amazing friends and I don’t like that feeling.

 

My feed is basically reduced to about 12 people who don’t post political things very often, cooking videos, and advertisements.

 

That’s sad.

 

I like to post there. I like to post pictures and anecdotes of my family. I like to whine a little and talk about personal things happening in my life. I will continue to do this because it’s a great place for record keeping and there might be 2 or 3 people who enjoy it.

 

But as for all my friends there. I’m probably saying good bye. I can’t do it anymore. And it’s not even because they are wrong or terrible or bad to want to post whatever it is they want to post. They have every right and I do hope that it helps them to reach the people they want and get their messages out. As for me? I don’t want to participate. I will write those things here in my void where nobody will read them (yes I will link my blog on Facebook, because I can! muahaha!). This is a place where I would welcome that dialogue, just like I talk with others on their blogs to discuss topics that are more enflamed and less peaceful. I welcome anyone to give me their own personal websites, if they have them, and I’d love to talk there.

 

But Facebook is not the place I want to run from. I want to keep it like a weird shaped comfy blanket that I hide under randomly when I need a break.

So that means, unfollowing half my friends list. I love you people, but good god… I can’t take it anymore.

 

 

A few days ago I actively announced that I am Pro Life.

A lot of people that knew me already knew that, but I felt it was time that I actually actively claimed it.

Today is the March for Life 2017. I support it. I have been watching their speech presentations live all morning and I agree with 99% of what they have been saying .

My sister in law made a comment on Facebook that she is Pro-Birth Control (Conception Control) and Pro Adoption. That says EXACTLY how I feel.

Do I think there are exceptions… OF COURSE THERE ARE.

But I do believe that if more thought was put into not conceiving a baby in the first place, then abortion would cease to be an issue. Yes, this might mean making access to birth control and the Day After pill a lot easier, but I agree with that. If all the money that was put into abortions was diverted there, think of the difference that could be made. Nobody is telling anyone what to do with their body, but instead of making a choice to abort a baby, make the choice to not even have to go there in the first place.

I’d really like to know what is wrong with that way of thinking.

 

Of course, nobody will probably read this, or reply. But I wanted to write about my thoughts anyway. I don’t want to keep posting things on Facebook, because I personally want to keep that place a more happy uplifting place where I can connect with people I enjoy in my life, not a place to argue and feel like punching a wall because I visited there.

So in order to keep in pace with what I want my FB experience to be, I’ve decided to carve a little corner of this website (which I wanted to make for recipes, family blogging, and general taco and cookie related love) for my own rants that require a little more thought and courage on my part.

 

Oh wow, so they are starting the Pro Life march and it looks amazing. It makes me feel really good to see so many people who want to march for something that I believe in just as much.

Beautiful.

 

I chose to have my kids, and maybe that isn’t a choice for everyone. But if you don’t HAVE to make that choice because you are active in preventing pregnancy in the first place… it is a wonderful wonderful thing.

I judge no one. I hate no one. I put down no one.

But I hope to lift up someone. Love someone. Show someone that yes, there is another way.