I’ve noticed a very troubling theme popping up in the news streams and subject matter of a lot of opinion and modern event pieces that are tailored towards young people. This is an issue that I’m sure, once the words fly from the tips of my fingers and onto this screen, I’m going to cringe even allowing it to happen.

 

That trend is: being white, male, well taken care of, or any combination of those things  is to be shunned, looked down on, and twisted into some sort of wicked force that is holding the rest of the world down.

 

Yep. I said it. I’m not talking about a few fringe people posting crazy things on their blogs. I’m talking about news, videos, organizations etc, all slamming people for their race and sex and upbringing as if it is all their fault for so many problems and also as if their opinions and thoughts are not as valid as anyone else simply because of those things.

 

I am a mother raising young men. My home is of mixed race and anyone who has seen pictures of my children can tell you, they look like a wonderful little rainbow.

 

My oldest son is very fair with dark blonde hair and hazel eyes. My second child has tanner skin and dark hair. My third child is pale with dark eyes and curly black hair. My youngest is also fair with hazel eyes and light brown hair.

 

It makes me seething with anger that just looking at my children would make someone say to themselves “Oh their opinions and thoughts don’t matter as much, they have privilege.”

 

Bull crap.

 

I hate the notion of privilege and the fact that “oh if you have it, you don’t understand anyone else, you can’t possibly know what your talking about and even if you are stating facts, it’s bad”…and of course, if you’re a male while saying almost anything, it’s “mansplaining” (god I hate that “word” so much) and you should just be quiet and listen without any thoughts of your own. It’s gross.

 

Don’t come to me talking about patriarchy and equal rights or the plight of those who are of “color”. That’s a blog post all on it’s own and I don’t want to talk about it right now, but best believe I will later.

 

What I’m talking about right now is that each and every one of my sons, whether they “pass” for white and the “white privilege” that comes along with it or not, they will be thought to be potential rapists who need to be told not to rape.

 

What I’m talking about right now is that my sons could have a very valid and thoughtful opinion and be spit on and yelled at simply for being male.

 

What I’m talking about right now is this thought that men are oppressing women every single time they dare act in a position of power or otherwise and they are all bad for even wanting to succeed ahead of a woman.

 

It takes such nerve to have this kind of line drawn in the sand mentality that it makes me sick.

 

I will instill in my sons pride and the knowledge that they can do anything they want if they have the drive, just like I would any daughter of mine. I was raised in a very traditional home but I never felt hindered or stifled in the height my goals could reach. Were things handed to me on a silver platter? No! But if I wanted them, I knew I had to work for them and that is what I did, repeatedly, because I knew who I was and I didn’t need to feel intimidated by a man or feel like things were unfair unless I allowed them to be that way. That is something I never did.

 

So for my boys, I want that same drive and I will teach them what I think they need to keep themselves on whatever path they choose in life.

 

What else will I teach my sons?

 

I WILL teach my sons how to respect women.

 

I WILL teach my sons right and wrong.

 

I WILL  expect them to be thoughtful, intelligent young men.

 

But will I just nod my head and say “you’re right” to anyone who says that all men are misogynists and that they all want to lord over women and they the are all just terrible people who sit with their legs too wide and talk too loud and think they know everything because of the genitals they were born with?

 

NO I WON’T.

 

I find it gross and distasteful.

 

Are there awful people in this world who do awful things.

 

Yes.

 

Are there generalities because of some overbearing social experience. In a lot of cases yes.

 

Are there cases where women might rightfully have a reason to say they are being discriminated against? Sure!

 

But I don’t think rape is something you can generalize. I don’t think disrespect and mistreatment of women is something you can just pin on every single man “with exceptions”. I don’t think that all men are enraged when a woman is rising to power and wants to drag her down.

 

No, I think it’s the exact opposite.

 

Maybe that’s just me. I’ve surrounded myself with too many good men so I don’t believe they are all bad.

 

Have I been hurt and experienced injustice and terrible cruel things at the hands of men? YES… but do I then let it fester into some boiling hatred that I tint my entire world view on? No.

 

Do I hate men in power and think they have an agenda to keep women down? No.

 

I have also surrounded myself with some amazing strong powerful women that exceeded every single stereo type of what a woman is “allowed to do” and shown me that no, there is nothing that I can’t do. If it’s more work and trial, why does that automatically make it bad? Why does applying yourself and really showcasing how amazing you are a bad thing? Why do people want things handed to them simply because of what they are packing in their pants?

 

It’s ridiculous.

 

I’m a proud mother of sons. I will not have them ashamed of who they are, cowed into a corner trying to appease an angry massive blitz of people who want to shun them. I don’t want them to be ashamed of their skin color or how they grew up.

Life’s blessings are something I say thank you for every single day. My children are receiving things I am very grateful to be able to provide for them.

 

 

But does that mean we don’t care about anyone else because they may not have the same type of life? No! Should they be ashamed? No! Should they have to give things up to equalize the entire world into one level playing field? Nope!

 

Great people have risen from all sorts of circumstances, whether they started at the very bottom or the very top, they have made it. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but to say that my children should feel bad because of something they don’t have any control over, is just ridiculous and I refuse.

 

I want them to stand tall.

 

If they want to explain something because they are excited to impart their knowledge, I hope they do it no matter what stupid new word someone wants to label them with. If they want to be the man of their house, they will find a woman who agrees with that view point and they do not have to change their dreams and goals because it doesn’t fit the narrative of the “progressive world”. Heck, if they want to stay home and raise children and they have a woman who would rather put in all the myriad of hours it takes to raise a family, then so be it, as long as that is what they and their partner want. If they want to give up everything and go live in an impoverished country to give their time and energy to those in need, then they can do that too. If they want to strive to run a business and make millions of dollars, then I hope they do just that.

 

All I’m saying is that I’m sick and tired of this line of thought being touted as the “right” way and the “only way” you can think if you are on the cutting edge of what is right in the world.

 

News Flash: Not everyone who doesn’t agree with you is wrong.

Not everyone who doesn’t believe the way you do are bad.

Not everyone has to be the same in order to be good people.

Cut it out.

 

(This topic isn’t over *Edit: Including that I want my sons to be very proud of every aspect of their heritage, the black part, the latin part AND THE WHITE PART… but I have a four year old who REALLY wants me to sit with him so he can go to sleep. He must think he runs everything because he’s a boy and I’m a girl… just kidding. He’s four… he does run the world.)